At just 18, Dillon felt trapped. He was £4,000 in debt, overwhelmed and convinced he had no way out. In desperation, the teenager took out loan after loan, with each one leaving him owing more.
It began to feel as if the only way out was to disappear completely. So Dillon made the drastic decision to board a train to London with no intention of returning.
He went missing repeatedly. Each time, the distance from home felt wider – not just physically, but emotionally. Kieran was terrified, ashamed, and convinced no one could help him without making things worse. He felt trapped, exhausted, and invisible.
“I didn’t know what to do, I’d tried everything, and I really didn’t want to say anything to my parents. I just couldn’t bear the thought of dealing with them. It was all just too much, and I just thought the easiest thing to do would be to get away.”
Dillon, from Oldham in Greater Manchester, began gambling with his friend in 2023 at the age of 17. It started as a seemingly harmless hobby in which they would typically put £5 or £10 on slot machines. But within months, he was playing roulette and blackjack, and the stakes continued to grow.
Along the way, he lost the money he saved for a car and a holiday with his friends. His paychecks, which he would receive every two weeks, would be gone by the following day.
Dillon took out loans to try to recover the money, but it would often be spent on gambling and disappear again.
All it took for the 18-year-old was to go on the internet and sign up to high-interest loan websites, from which he borrowed a total of around £5,000.
In hindsight, Dillon now thinks he made the problem out to be far worse than it was, adding: “My mental health had deteriorated. I didn’t know what to do, because I was one of those people who had never really been through it before, so I think I didn’t believe in it. I was in a very bad headspace.”
Going missing had lingered at the back of his mind for a while, and the idea of vanishing to London, where he knew no one, was appealing.
He left a note for his parents to tell them he was “just going away for a bit” and didn’t know how long it was going to be. In reality, he planned to never come back. “I felt disgusted with myself,” he said.
After getting a haircut so he wouldn’t be recognised, Dillon took his remaining £200 and boarded a train to London.
“I think I was still in a sort of euphoria, and when I got there, I just felt pretty normal. But then, when it got to nighttime, I was like, ‘Oh my god’ and I realised the impact of the situation.”
He spent the next 10 days cold, sleeping in parks and on the streets and stealing from supermarkets to feed himself. “I was like, why have I got myself into this situation? Why do I always do this sort of thing?”
Getting support
When Dillon eventually connected to wifi, he logged on to Facebook and was stunned to see a flood of notifications and a page that had been set up as a result of his disappearance.
“When I was reading all the messages, there were random people I didn’t even know,” he said. “They were all being so kind and everyone was helping as a group… it was nice to read and nice to hear, and it felt like I belonged.”
“I’m OK and I just want to be found.” His father, who was already in London looking for him, collected him within half an hour. “It was really emotional, to be honest. I was dead happy.”
More than a year on, Dillon is now speaking out against the harms of gambling advertising and has called for stronger and more accessible support for those in his position.
He also wants more help to be made available for those struggling with their mental health, and believes that young people need to be able to talk about the issue more openly.
“If you’re thinking about going missing, please just don’t do it. The impacts that it can have on your family, the people who have raised you… They might not be there 24/7, but there are a lot of people out there who care about you.”
Support is here for you
If you’re struggling with how you feel, and feel like escaping your current situation, talk to SafeCall first.
